Title: k& Consent & Community On-boarding

Consent Basics

What Is Consent?

Consent is more than just a "yes". It's a continuous, informed, and voluntary process.
It must be revisited regularly, and respected at all times. In kink, this becomes even more important due to the nature of power exchange, intensity, and vulnerability involved.

Understanding F.R.I.E.S.

We use the F.R.I.E.S. model; developed by Planned Parenthood; because it offers a simple, memorable way to understand the core principles of healthy, ethical consent.

Freely Given

Consent cannot be coerced, manipulated, or pressured. It must be given without guilt-tripping, intimidation, or fear of consequence; even in D/s dynamics.

Reversible

Consent can be withdrawn at any point, regardless of what’s been agreed to before or during. Saying “stop” or using a safeword must be honored instantly.

Informed

Everyone involved must know exactly what they're consenting to; including risks, intentions, limits, and expectations.

Enthusiastic

Consent should feel good. It’s a “hell yes,” not a reluctant or “I guess so” response. Enthusiasm includes emotional readiness.

Specific

Saying yes to one activity doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. Consent must be given for each individual act or change in activity.

Consent in Context

“They didn’t say no, so I thought it was fine”

Why it’s wrong:
Consent isn’t the absence of a “no”, it’s the presence of an enthusiastic, informed “yes.” Silence, hesitation, or passivity do not equal agreement.

“We’ve done this before”

Why it’s wrong:
Past consent doesn’t guarantee current consent. People’s comfort levels can change over time, and every scene or act requires a fresh check-in and explicit agreement.

“They didn’t stop me”

Why it’s wrong:
Not everyone feels safe or empowered enough to stop something mid-scene; especially if they’re frozen, overwhelmed, or unsure. It’s the initiator’s responsibility to check in, not wait for resistance.

“They didn’t use the safe word”

Why it’s wrong:
Not using a safe word doesn’t mean someone is okay. They may forget it, hesitate to speak, or be in subspace. You must stay attentive to body language, hesitation, and discomfort; not rely solely on safe word use.

Consent Basics Checkpoint

Checkpoint1-1

Q: Consent can be withdrawn at any time
A: true
If wrong: Consent must always be reversible, it can be withdrawn at any point.

Checkpoint1-2

Q: Which of these scenarios shows valid consent?
- Sam agreed to the scene and checked in during it (correct) (Exactly! Valid consent is clearly communicated, ongoing, and supported by regular check-ins.)
- Taylor stayed silent and didn’t resist (Silence or lack of resistance doesn’t always mean agreement. Consider what’s missing here.)
- It was okay last time, so no need to ask (Past experiences don’t automatically apply to the present. What should be checked first?)
- They didn’t safe word (Not using a safe word doesn’t always mean things are okay. What else should we be paying attention to?)

Checkpoint1-3

- All parties understand what they’re consenting to, including risks and expectations
- Saying yes to one thing doesn't mean saying yes to everything
- Consent is offered without pressure, guilt, force, or manipulation
- Consent can be changed or withdrawn at any time, even mid-scene
- Consent should be a clear “yes”, not passive or uncertain
Q: Freely Given
Q: Reversible
Q: Informed
Q: Enthusiastic
Q: Specific